The wake up call. January 14, 2008, after a regular checkup -- I woke up from a colonoscopy and the doctor was there with a monitor showing pictures of colon cancer. My first thought was there must be some mistake. I do not feel sick. But as I looked at the pictures of my colon on the monitor, I could see the cancer growing inside. Can I thank God for this?
The first answer that came was in a song that went through my thoughts, “Through it All” the third verse. This song kept going through my mind over and over during that day and I knew that God had given this song for this time in my life.
I thank God for the mountains,
And, I thank Him for the valleys,
I thank Him for the storms He brought me through;
For if I’d never had a problem
I wouldn’t know that God could solve them,
I’d never know what faith in God could do.
Through it all, through it all,
I’ve learned to trust in Jesus,
I’ve learned to trust in God.
Through it all, through it all,
I’ve learned to depend upon His word.
I thanked God for this song, hidden in my memory, that He used that day.
I later questioned God, as David did, when I received word that I had cancer.
I was not as close to the Lord as I had been in the past.
And my first thought was my sin had caused this problem.
In my daily Bible reading on 1-24-08 I read the following:
Psalm 13:1 To the chief Musician, A Psalm of David. How long wilt thou forget me, O LORD? Forever? How long wilt thou hide thy face from me?
v2 How long shall I take counsel in my soul, having sorrow in my heart daily? How long shall mine enemy be exalted over me?
v3 Consider and hear me, O LORD my God: lighten mine eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death;
v4 Lest mine enemy say, I have prevailed against him; and those that trouble me rejoice when I am moved.
v5 But I have trusted in thy mercy; my heart shall rejoice in thy salvation.
v6 I will sing unto the LORD, because He hath dealt bountifully with me.
Satan was exalted over me and he was winning. I was praying for God to forgive my sins.
I felt that Satan had brought me down and he wanted to finish me off. I felt captured by my sins and that Satan had set my mind on the things of the world and this was separating me from God. I knew that I must repent of all my known sin and place myself on the altar before God.
God revealed to me that He had not brought me this far to leave me-like in the song. He showed me He loves me more than I can ever love Him, with an everlasting love. I knew that if God wanted to get all my attention, He did a great job. Most of all I felt assured that God was not finished with me yet. I accepted the fact that God had already forgiven my sins when He redeemed me at Calvary.
The rush of testing and doctors appointments ended up in a scheduled surgery on February 1, 2008. The Dr removed about 14" of my colon and 8 lymph nodes. Also tumors were found in my liver, but not removed. These will be treated with chemo. I am thankful for the many family and friends who came to my aid with prayer support. That is when God gave us the Scripture- 2 Corinthians 1:9-11. God also gave me the verses- Psalm 4:3-5- where He says to trust in Him. This is what we are doing.
As I have learned through these two years, God is Faithful. He has promised to never leave us nor forsake us. Please pray with us as I am looking for some new options for treatment. Thank you again for standing with us.
Next is my Hospital Experience :(
Sunday, March 21, 2010
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Gerald, thanks for sharing your experience and your walk with God. I look forward to reading about your yourney. Cookie
ReplyDeleteGerald, when I watch you and Diane I am so inspired to live my life pleasing to the Lord. I appreciate your transparency. We look at other people and often measure them according to what we can see or hear. But the Lord looks to the heart. I am so thankful that He is such a loving and faithful God who is patient with me. I am reminded again by your words that none of us are perfect. That is why this weekend as we celebrate his death and resurrection, we have so much to be thankful for. The One who is perfect became sin so that we might be made right. To Him be the Glory.
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